Monday, 8 December 2014

Luck and Love and all Things Off-Topic (Again)



It's a funny thing isn't it? Luck.

It seems everyone has had some, at some point, to some degree. We've all heard the stories of the obnoxious kid who didn't try overly hard at school, yet aced his exams and landed the big city job; penthouse apartment and the perfect wife?! Is this just luck, or something deeper? Something more?
Some say: We create our own luck! True? Possibly, I'm no expert - in fact, I question these common inspirational sayings myself all too often.

It is true however, that personal mood and perspective can orchestrate a lot of what can happen, or in fact, does not happen.

When we're happy and confident, we can project a certain radiancy; a 'glow' about us. This in turn can magnetise your persona making you lucky enough to create opportunities for yourself. Opportunities of friendship, job offers and love.

I know this better than most. I've had friendships flourish and fail many times because of my moods and confidence.

Before I was diagnosed with bipolar back in 2011, I was tired and exasperated with my life, feeling constantly out of control; anxious to some degree. Not because of the condition itself, but because I lacked an understanding of what was happening to me. For years I'd been confused by my erratic behaviour: One month I'd make 10 new friends, I could talk and laugh about anything and everything - I was the life a soul. I felt on top of the world. Energetic and utterly brilliant! I'd always be doing something productive, achieving something! Life seemed easy and I felt no boundaries. I was happy.

Then out of nowhere, things would change. I'd panic when being spoken to, fretting about what to say, how to react. I'd stay in bed all weekend and worry about insignificant things. I'd obsess about my weight and how I looked. Hating myself more and more for the changes I couldn't understand -  couldn't control.
For years these polar opposites dictated what I did, where I went and who I was. I could never understand why I couldn't be happy most of the time, or at least one or the other  - then I could build a life for myself! Was I being punished for something?

Why did I have to flake out and break down when I'd overwise been fine; when there was nothing there to trigger it?!

But my point is: When I was happy I never worried about the little things, never obsessed about my weight, or wondered what others thought of me. I became free - and lucky again in life. I've had many an opportunity come my way when I've been happy; jobs offers, new friends and a happy loving relationships.

Since my diagnosis, I've learned to understand and accept myself more. However, I do find myself holding back in life, in general: I find myself deliberately turning down amazing offers and opportunities - mainly because I'm scared to commit - fearing that if I took a risk, I wouldn't be able to see it through and in turn I'd let everyone down. I've been turning my back on luck. Luck that I've earned? Maybe, I don't know.

I do feel lucky for many things though: I'm grateful of my family and our health, the home that we've created and enjoy living in; to the friends that have supported me through the good and the bad. I'm grateful for the great things that I have in my life. The constant luck and love that envelopes me everyday of every year.

Yes, this is deep.

You're probably wondering where the relevance is perhaps: of the picture to this post?! Well, I suppose I went off on a tangent right from the beginning.

I was going to talk about exercise and fitness over Christmas - Eeeeeek, majorly off-topic there!!

Right now, I'm happy......and, may I add: happily eating my way through too much chocolate - I need to go running! Happiness needs a balance ;)

But that's another post!

Monday, 17 November 2014

It'll be a Kitschy Vintage Christmas this Year!!


Good Afternoon, and Happy Monday - no?? Well Monday's are notoriously deemed.....well, hard work for most people I know and I guess I am no exception. Seeing as this Monday here in the UK is dull, wet and just pure crappy I'd share a bright kitschy picture of some new Christmas tree purchases - yep, I am just so excited to decorate my tree this year.

I've decided to move away from my classic gold, silver and white - and kitsch it up with bright tacky colours and glass robots and such :) Cannot wait!!

These ones I bought from Habitat, John Lewis, Sainsburys and Poundland. I know that paperchase have a wonderful selection of glass kitsch too - I'm especially keen to get Gav to pick me up a surfing flamingo tomorrow on his lunch break - hehe :)

Are you changing tree colours this year? It's a costly business isn't it?!

Friday, 31 October 2014

Halloween Harlequin Posing.....

Goldfrapp Harlequin Clown

Good evening and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Once again, it's been more days than I'd like since my last blog post - this isn't due to the usual procrastination, for once!
I've been super busy with various projects......mainly the shop - listing loads of new vintage goodies. I've also been preparing for the big event which is Halloween: Getting the girls' costumes made and ready for their party........then working on mine, which is fun because I've recently gotten into stamp block carving and printing.......I found an old vintage skirt which made a fabulous cape and then acquired a bunch of old mismatched net curtains to make a collar; Gav and I argued over the size of the hat......haha - which we made from cardboard and covered in brown vintage tweedy fabric - using, might I add - very old carpet adhesive I'd been hoarding in the back of the kitchen cupboard - I knew it would serve it's purpose one day!!

Then I was ill all over the weekend into the beginning of this week - so I literally spent days in and out of bed and now I've a horrible cough and feel completely run down.......but enough whining though - worse things happen at sea they say - ARRRRRRR :)

So obviously, with a new costume comes the increasing need for a pose-y photoshoot. Luckily I had Gav at hand to be my makeshift photographer for a while, well at least until he got bored anyway.........yay - massively cheesey pictures!

I found my inspiration through Alison Goldfrapp - can you tell?

Goldfrapp Harlequin Clown Goldfrapp Harlequin Clown

So I'm now heading to the big city tonight to celebrate the big event - happy days :)

ps. I hate my new page layout, buttons picture - everything! I'm changing it at the first available moment - what was I thinking?!

Goldfrapp Harlequin Clown

Goldfrapp Harlequin Clown

Goldfrapp Harlequin Clown Goldfrapp Harlequin Clown

Goldfrapp Harlequin Clown

Goldfrapp Harlequin Clown