It's a funny thing isn't it? Luck.
It seems everyone has had some, at some point, to some degree. We've all heard the stories of the obnoxious kid who didn't try overly hard at school, yet aced his exams and landed the big city job; penthouse apartment and the perfect wife?! Is this just luck, or something deeper? Something more?
Some say: We create our own luck! True? Possibly, I'm no expert - in fact, I question these common inspirational sayings myself all too often.
It is true however, that personal mood and perspective can orchestrate a lot of what can happen, or in fact, does not happen.
When we're happy and confident, we can project a certain radiancy; a 'glow' about us. This in turn can magnetise your persona making you lucky enough to create opportunities for yourself. Opportunities of friendship, job offers and love.
I know this better than most. I've had friendships flourish and fail many times because of my moods and confidence.
Before I was diagnosed with bipolar back in 2011, I was tired and exasperated with my life, feeling constantly out of control; anxious to some degree. Not because of the condition itself, but because I lacked an understanding of what was happening to me. For years I'd been confused by my erratic behaviour: One month I'd make 10 new friends, I could talk and laugh about anything and everything - I was the life a soul. I felt on top of the world. Energetic and utterly brilliant! I'd always be doing something productive, achieving something! Life seemed easy and I felt no boundaries. I was happy.
Then out of nowhere, things would change. I'd panic when being spoken to, fretting about what to say, how to react. I'd stay in bed all weekend and worry about insignificant things. I'd obsess about my weight and how I looked. Hating myself more and more for the changes I couldn't understand - couldn't control.
For years these polar opposites dictated what I did, where I went and who I was. I could never understand why I couldn't be happy most of the time, or at least one or the other - then I could build a life for myself! Was I being punished for something?
Why did I have to flake out and break down when I'd overwise been fine; when there was nothing there to trigger it?!
But my point is: When I was happy I never worried about the little things, never obsessed about my weight, or wondered what others thought of me. I became free - and lucky again in life. I've had many an opportunity come my way when I've been happy; jobs offers, new friends and a happy loving relationships.
Since my diagnosis, I've learned to understand and accept myself more. However, I do find myself holding back in life, in general: I find myself deliberately turning down amazing offers and opportunities - mainly because I'm scared to commit - fearing that if I took a risk, I wouldn't be able to see it through and in turn I'd let everyone down. I've been turning my back on luck. Luck that I've earned? Maybe, I don't know.
I do feel lucky for many things though: I'm grateful of my family and our health, the home that we've created and enjoy living in; to the friends that have supported me through the good and the bad. I'm grateful for the great things that I have in my life. The constant luck and love that envelopes me everyday of every year.
Yes, this is deep.
You're probably wondering where the relevance is perhaps: of the picture to this post?! Well, I suppose I went off on a tangent right from the beginning.
I was going to talk about exercise and fitness over Christmas - Eeeeeek, majorly off-topic there!!
Right now, I'm happy......and, may I add: happily eating my way through too much chocolate - I need to go running! Happiness needs a balance ;)
But that's another post!